Week 1: Mike drops 176.5, Conor 170.8, Nik 163.4
Recap for season 2026, Week 1.
Full FAAB Nut Busters · September 15, 2026
Season 2026 opened with a laugh and a lesson. The biggest blowout was a 109.94-point beatdown, and the closest game slipped by 1.58 points — both are the kind of extremes this league eats for breakfast.
Mike put up 176.5 points and turned Clapper’s afternoon into a math problem, 176.5 to 66.56, for a 109.94-point margin. Clapper: that lineup looked like it was set by a sleep-deprived algorithm.
Conor ripped off 170.8 points and left PB in the dust, 170.8 to 107.66, a 63.14-point win. That’s the kind of Week 1 statement that makes the rest of us check our waiver habits.
This was the league’s one-possession thriller: 132.04 to 130.46, a 1.58-point game. Padraig lived dangerously and ADawg nearly stole the whole week on the back of split-second bench decisions.
Nik scored 163.4 and Abe did 116.0, a comfortable 47.4-point win. Nik’s team looked like it came to play; Abe’s looked like it hit snooze twice.
Max put up 151.84 to Boner Esq’s 98.88, a 52.96-point gap. Max gets the W; Boner Esq gets creative excuses that will be argued at length in the group chat.
Dave finished 131.48 to Harry’s 99.68, a 31.8-point margin. Harry’s lineup efficiency looked like a legal brief with holes; Dave exploited them.
Jahmyr Gibbs carried the offense with 34 touches and 186 scrimmage yards; that usage change is immediate roster business for anyone eyeing Detroit backs.
Watch Trevor Lawrence and Jalen Hurts for QB stability; keep an eye on TreVeyon Henderson’s OUT tag and Jordan Love’s thumb procedure. Alvin Kamara being inactive matters for New Orleans depth this week.
Week 1 power rankings
Conor
Rank 1, model 67.7; three-week 170.8; all-play 90.9; lineup efficiency 98.7; roster 210.28.
“Week 1 went how I like it: loud bench celebrations, quiet opponents.”Conor
Nik
Rank 2, model 64.6; three-week 163.4; all-play 81.8; lineup efficiency 98; roster 203.98.
Abe
Rank 3, model 64.5; three-week 116; all-play 36.4; lineup efficiency 85.3; roster 169.56.
Mike
Rank 4, model 64.1; three-week 176.5; all-play 100; lineup efficiency 87.4; roster 227.9.
“I didn’t plan to embarrass Clapper this badly, but I’ll take the W and the clapping later.”Mike
ADawg
Rank 5, model 60.5; three-week 130.46; all-play 45.5; lineup efficiency 92.8; roster 156.56.
Boner Esq
Rank 6, model 59.1; three-week 98.88; all-play 9.1; lineup efficiency 87.4; roster 120.08.
“I will formally dispute that Max’s 151.84 is legal. Also I lost, respectfully.”Boner Esq
Padraig
Rank 7, model 59; three-week 132.04; all-play 63.6; lineup efficiency 100; roster 163.64.
“Winning by 1.58 points is my preferred brand of chaos. Thanks, ADawg, for the drama.”Padraig
Max
Rank 8, model 57.2; three-week 151.84; all-play 72.7; lineup efficiency 98.8; roster 183.44.
PB
Rank 9, model 56.9; three-week 107.66; all-play 27.3; lineup efficiency 96.9; roster 130.66.
Dave
Rank 10, model 53.7; three-week 131.48; all-play 54.5; lineup efficiency 89.6; roster 176.58.
Harry
Rank 11, model 49.5; three-week 99.68; all-play 18.2; lineup efficiency 69; roster 164.28.
Clapper
Rank 12, model 46.7; three-week 66.56; all-play 0; lineup efficiency 74.2; roster 99.2.